Excuses Why New Year's Resolutions to Lose Weight End in Failure By Nick Nilsson
January is New Year's Resolution time. Lose weight, gain weight, quit smoking, start smoking, get rich, spend more time working and less time with their families...you name it, people resolve to do it.
Yet how many people actually succeed with their resolutions?
According to a statistic I just made up, 75% of people fail to keep their New Year's Resolutions. That number is even higher with weight loss resolutions.
Why, you ask?
Well, here are my Top 20 Excuses Why New Year's Resolutions to Lose Weight End in Failure...
I wasn't getting enough to eat on ONE diet so I had to go on THREE.
Its winter and I need the extra insulation to keep me warm.
I went to the gym and somebody was on my machine so I realized everything happens for a reason and it wasn't meant to be.
I went to the gym and there was no lifeguard on duty in case the rowing machine sank. I complained to the manager but they threw me out.
Turns out I didn't really mean it.
My other resolution to quit being a cranky jerk all the time wasn't compatible with my low-carb diet.
There was a big game on...Wheel of Fortune is a game, right?
My DVR broke so I couldn't fast-forward past all the food commercials.
I figured since rice cakes don't have many calories, the same was true of other cakes. Like fudge cake. And pancakes. With syrup. And fudge.
My personal trainer called and said if I didn't show up for my session on Friday, don't bother showing up on Monday. Woohoo! 4 day weekend!
No ashtrays on the treadmills at the gym. How do they expect me stay on that thing for an hour without a cigarette break? It's not like that little TV can keep my mind off how painful and boring it is to hammer away on that thing at 1.2 mph for 60 minutes.
Krispy Kreme hasn't come out with an Olestra-filled donut (that they've told us, at least...I have my suspicions).
Billy Mays (that bearded infomercial guy) hasn't come out with a Mighty Putty strong enough to keep my mouth shut at the all-you-can-eat buffet.
The economy is in such rough shape, it's hard to afford the new clothes I'll have to buy as I get smaller so it'll have to wait until I get a bailout.
I have to buy junk foods "for the kids" even though they don't really need that stuff either and I don't actually HAVE any kids or KNOW any kids.
I messed up and ate a chip on Day 2 so I gave up until next January's resolution season.
I need to get in better shape before I can join a gym...to get in better shape.
I made a resolution to give up drinking so I could lose weight but I did it while I was drunk so I forgot.
I don't want to insult my co-workers by not eating birthday cake at the office every single day, even when I have to bring it myself.
I'm waiting for President Obama to lose the weight for me.